英文简历：雅虎工程师的奇特简历

最近雅虎颇为动荡，之前的收购闹得沸沸扬扬，高管纷纷离职，于是猎头们也虎视眈眈。一位雅虎的工程师艾萨克·施吕特不堪忍受猎头骚扰，于是发出一封奇特的简历，开价40万美元没得商量。

Price

$400,000

(It's not negotiable.)

This is not a joke.

I truly love working at Yahoo!, and believe that my position here offers the best avenue to further my career. I was not laid off. I have no plans to leave. I am not worried about mergers or buy-outs. I know that some executive just quit, and clearly, I don't care even a little.

Yes, yes, you've recently gotten a million gillion dollars in venture capital, and you were founded by 2 brain surgeon rocket scientist Stanford PhD grads who invented a perpetual motion machine, blah blah blah.

I have actually heard it already, that line of yours. Probably very recently. So don't bother.

Please don't "reach out to me directly" unless you can actually afford me; it is demeaning and absurd to think that the sound of your voice would somehow change my opinion on this matter.

I have tried so very hard to put this in the strongest possible language, but some people just never get it.

If you have a new or exciting web application, and you'd like my feedback on it, feel free to contact me. If I feel like it, and have the time, I'll play with your beta and let you know what I think.

If you want more than my hobby time, I do product consultation on an ad hoc basis at $300 per hour.

价格：

40万美金

一口价

我真的喜欢在雅虎工作，并且相信现在的职位为未来发展提供了最好的契机。我没有被辞退，也不打算辞职。我也不担心什么公司合并或者出售。我知道有些高管刚刚离职，但我一点也不在乎。

是的，是的，你们公司刚刚获得了巨额风险投资，你们公司是由两名斯坦福脑科博士创立，他们还发明了永动机等等等等。

这些话我都听腻了，所以，别来烦我了。

如果你出不起这个价钱，请不要直接与我联系。想用你的声音来让我改变注意是很荒谬的，简直是对我的侮辱。

我已经想尽办法，用最强硬的语言来表达我的想法，但偏偏有人不明其理。

如果你有一个新开发的，或者令人激动的网络应用，想听听我的意见，请与我联系。如果我喜欢这个应用，而且时间充裕，我会试试你们的测试版，然后反馈给你们。

如果你们想占用我的更多时间，我会按照每小时300美元收取产品咨询费。

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